Gulp

Amaya was in bed trying to fall asleep. I walked by so she asked, “Mama, what are we going to do tomorrow?”

I said, “I have to go to work, Honey.”

“Every day? You have to go to work every day?”

I felt a little gulp in my throat when I answered back, “Every. Day.”

Mozely has been suddenly needing me more at night and staying up later and waking up earlier. Finding time to pump during the day is hard. My coworkers understand but expect me to jump into things anyway. The kids at school act like they need me just as much as my kids at home. Jake is antsy when I get home because the winds were stone cold dead.

Everyone needs something from me and I’m wondering why anyone does.

The whole week before work started up again I tried not to think about it.

When everyone asked me how it was to be back I tried not to think about it.

I had 38 messages and I tried not to think about it.

But.

Gulp.

Gulp.

Gulp.