Why I Will Never Be Mom of the Year

Amaya tells me, when I’m brushing her hair, “You’re the worst!”

I’m not sure where she learned the word “worst”, but she totally understands it.

Yesterday I took Amaya and Mozely to The Haunted Lagoon. It’s a total craze here. People will wait in line for 4 hours to get into this thing. I know. Because I did. Totally worth it.

There’s a kid haunted lagoon and Amaya’s been talking about it for weeks. The second she saw the posters go up she was talking about “the haunted of the goon,” as she calls it. I was told by several people that the kid haunted lagoon was not scary and a lot of fun. Since she was so interested in it I decided to take her. Luckily, for the kid one, we did not have to wait for 4 hours. We didn’t even wait 5 minutes. If we had, I probably would have turned around and saved all of us a lot of trouble.

The second we got into the canoe I knew it was a mistake. For the whole 20 minutes I was thinking, “THIS IS A MISTAKE,” but you can’t get off, so you just have to wallow in your mistake. There’s no going back. It is the worst kind of lesson you can learn.

I took Moze because Jake had a meeting. Even he was scared, despite having zero understanding of what a monster jumping out of the water was. The noises were loud and the flashing lights were awful.

Later, when Amaya had woken up for the 5th time that night crying and I let her sit up to watch “Hello Kitty’s Furry Tale Theater” she said to me: “Mom, you shouldn’t have taken the baby and me to the haunted of the goon! You should have left us at home!”

Yep, yep, and yep.