First Class Jack…. (son)

The whole time we were watching the latest episode of Modern Family I was cringing. It was all about the unfulfilled birthday expectations.

I’m a jerk! I KNOW! I’ve pondered it for over 22 minutes already!!! STOP HASSLING ME!!!!!

Luckily I don’t think this is the thing that will lead to our divorce. He’s not totally hung up on presents. Jake has a lot of qualities that I didn’t know were quite so important until after I married him. Marriage-saving qualities… Like:

1. He really does know how to do the laundry. Because I don’t.

2. He keeps dogs away when they want to jump up in my face. Since we hike a lot and everyone in Hawaii owns pit bulls, Dobermans, or Pitmans, this has come in pretty handy for not getting my face eaten off. This is also handy when we run into very scary mokes in Chinatown. Or when I consider the possibility of an apocalyptic society. Not too many guys I’ve met can reach that standard.

3. He can stay awake while driving. Because I can’t.

4. He doesn’t hassle me too much about spending money because he never checks the credit card bills or the bank statements.

5. He believes in eating well, and he totally gets my tastes in food and restaurants. I would die if I had a taste-bud-less husband.

6. He’s probably the only thing keeping my brain above a 9th grade level of thinking. He reads actual literature, seeks out new and interesting music, only watches movies that could be called “films”, and discusses art with me. Otherwise I would probably atrophy into a YA fiction, radio junk, chick flick waste of a person. But we can still watch Modern Family, because it’s hilarious.

He married me. That certainly ranks up there with “things I didn’t know mattered until I was married.” Who else would have done that?