Do you think that men who are intelligent, strong in personality and outgoing, and a little sarcastic, a little funny, appear to people as more charming and praiseworthy than a woman who has those same characterstics?
In my own experience people are more likely to dislike a woman who is that way, calling her obnoxious or controlling or just unlikable. Even annoying. For some reason the woman seems more threatening. I just can't figure out why. Not to say that no one likes that kind of person, it just seems like more people actually go out of their way to dislike a woman like that.
I'm not saying this only applies to famous people. It seems to apply even more to just normal people, because famous people usually at least have looks to contribute to the "like" factor.
12 comments:
I tend to agree with you. I do still think there's this double standard about men and women, and men can get away with saying a lot more things than women.
It's been great to be in the blogging world, because I've met so many super funny women.
I don't know if you read Seriously, So Blessed, but for a long time, many people thought it was written by a man, which I think is sort of sad that people don't think women can be that funny.
I've recently admitted that I have a twisted view on the world since I went to an all women's college. Now there are 8 women in my department and only 2 guys. One of the guys is a rediculous human being and the second is a sweet heart. Basically for the past 6 years I've associated way more with women than man and seem to think that most guys are totally pathetic and absurd.
I guess when people start saying I'm obnoxious (which I'm sure they do plenty) I'll just take that as a compliment.
At the moment I find myself lacking an opinion on this issue. But decided not to let that keep me from commenting.
The whole reason I was thinking about this was because I realized I'm totally sexist in the classroom. Obnoxious guys can get away with almost anything, while if a girl is like that I think, "MAN, that girl is sassy mollassey." Yes, I actually do say that.
AND, on the same note, I've been thinking a lot lately how men (not guys) are capable of so much evil in the world.
This is mostly because the movie "Taken" has been in the back of my mind for the last several weeks.
I second your motion. Especially in the classroom! You're totally right on.
Men who are that way are "assertive". Women who are that way are "aggressive". I think it is because women have a strong need to please and expect other women to be the same way. If they aren't "pleasing", it messes with everyone's head. As an "assertive" woman, I resent that. :)
As long as we're being sexist, I kind of think women are sometimes more sexist about this kind of thing than guys. Because I think other women are more threatened by this type of thing than most guys. That said, I am not sure that the premise that we need to treat everyone exactly the same is necessarily true. (ie, you relate differently your guy and girl friends and I'm not sure they would appreciate being exchangeable).
I agree with you Jesse, EXCEPT that guys are way worse about reading devious women than other women. I don't necessarily mean "devious" but I sort of do. I've seen a lot of them come and go. Guys tend to be more obtuse about this sort of thing. And if a guy has ulterior motives or is just looking for some attention, he's just way more obvious about it.
I want to go to Chicago? When when when???
Jesse, too vague. Just say what you need to say. ;)
Hm. When I am around women like that I do find myself sometimes getting my back up about it--a reaction that happens without me realizing it. But if I stop and think about why I'm getting my back up and what exactly it is that bothers me, I find that it's generally my own insecurity. I want to be more witty/assertive/moderately-in-your-face, and I'm not. So maybe I sometimes don't initially like those women because it shows me what I'm not. And I guess I'm just wary of anyone who opens their mouth too loudly and too readily. My instant reaction is to think they're ignorant and close-minded.
And yes, I think women who act like that are often considered obnoxious while men who act like that are more likely to be considered funny and charming. And yes, I resent that.
I think most of my close friends, guys and girls, have been strong personalities--perhaps because I feel less witty and more introspective and if I was with someone shy and retiring we'd end up sitting in silence and what's the point in that. It's never bothered me how others respond to this particular personality type. I don't know that's it's really that gender specific--I guess I feel it's more individual than that. Or at least it should be and why focus more critical attention on perceived inequalities between the sexes. Maybe it's like picking at a scab.
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