At 3 am

So some certain someones (what a nice alliteration, ya think?) were talking in my room (ahem, I mean, in the next room, but their little voices were in my room because of my poor decrepit and paraplegic walls-- this is not to say that paraplegics are decrepit, just that my walls are because they flake dust all over the house and I have to wear slippers all the time and worry about breathing it in my lungs) at 3 or 4 am, and after they decided to quiet down (still love you guys) I was left to my thoughts.
Why are thoughts so LOUD when you're trying to go to sleep?
This is what I typically think about at 3 am:

I did not pay my car insurance bill that was due on January 1st.

WHY did I not PAY my CAR INSURANCE BILL?!?!?!?

I cannot believe I did not pay my car insurance bill!!!!!

I should get up right now and pay it. They are probably going to charge me at least $60 for not paying it on time.

I should make up a really sad story about the flood and how I could not find my car insurance bill so I totally forgot to do it.

This is not entirely true. Hmmm.

Will I go to Hell if I tell them this, even though I thought about it several times before January 1st and just thought, "Oh, whatever, I'll do it when I have some time"?

I probably won't go to Hell if I just tell them that I've been stressed out since the flood, and imply that I did not know where the actual bill was located, 100%. I mean, it was somewhere on the shelf in my living room, but I'd have to look for at least 30 seconds before I found it. It's not like I just SAW it on my to do list. But then again I don't have to do lists. I just rely on my increasingly awful memory to pay bills. On sort of time, lately.

Okay, so I'll just get up really really early, and call them, and be really nice about it.

AUGH. I cannot BELIEVE I did not PAY my CAR insurance bill.

I should think about something else. This is not helping me fall asleep.

Wait a sec. Did I pay my credit card bill?

I am going to kill myself. God, I promise to pay my bills on time forever and ever after if you just click your little button up there that says I paid my credit card bill on time. I mean, I totally have the money. You can do that, right?

SIGH. I just have to think of something else.

Man, I really really hope no one ever decides to try to kidnap Amaya. That would be SOOOOO scary. What would I even do if that happened? It would probably happen while I was watching her, and everyone would blame me. But I totally would not mean for that to happen. God, I promise to watch Amaya every second of my life as long as you protect her from being kidnapped. Probably what would happen is she would walk away from the house and someone would pick her off the highway, and I'd be running around Pam's house yelling for her and have no idea what is going on.

Yes. I totally do think of this. All. Night. Long. Or at least until 6:15 am, and then Amaya wakes up at 6:30 am for her milk.

So what was the last thing I actually thought before I fell asleep?

Hmmm. When am I supposed to have my period? Am I late? What day is it?

I tell you, if I get pregnant the second I finally make it to my pre pregnancy weight after this awful hideous gosh darn diet, this would so just be a kick in the balls.

God, I promise not to kick anyone in the balls as long as I get to enjoy being normal size for at least a month. I think that promise also includes your help in losing 7 more pounds. Thanks.