#1. He does the laundry and folds it 99.9% of the time. (Even though I have to do it .1% of the time.)
#2. He is a REALLY fun dad.
#3. He is a romantic (see the bottom of this post).
#4. He actually includes me in his thoughtful discussions about art, even if I really know nothing about it.
#5. He loves me, which sounds like a natural thing, but believe me, it takes effort.
#6. He appreciates my cooking and encourages it, even in the face of yet another cookbook.
#7. He writes poetry. He even writes poetry about me.
#8. He is an artist.
#9. He reads more than I do, and not just any ol' thing, he actually reads literature. What English major wouldn't love that?
#10. He makes me feel wanted. I am not as good in doing that for him. He loves me even in this current physical state, and he lets me know often that he enjoys spending time with me.
Jake really does not get enough credit for being romantic. Truly, how can anyone who is an artist, a poet, and a surfer not automatically be labeled as romantic? I, apparently, underplay his marriage proposal, which I do think was romantic, but I often have trouble portraying that to others. I would much rather tell a funny story than a sappy one, so that's where I get in trouble. He doesn't exactly appreciate the details that I highlight. But, in terms of a romantic story, he gets extra special bonus points in the story when we first started dating.
I met Jake through the Palmers, although I already knew about him because my friend Grace had had a crush on him. I also saw him walking around campus a couple of times with a girlfriend, and I remember thinking that they looked very cute together. I even went to his birthday party and then concluded that he was, welllll.... What would you think of a guy who was shaking his butt to disco music and receving special attention from several ladies at once? Let's just say it was "physical attention." Anyway, I hung out with him a few times via Palmers, including a hike to Wailele and neither Christian or he made fun of the fact that I was ridiculously slow going across the waist high stream. He came over to my house a few times and we sat on my porch and discussed his various girl problems, mostly involving him giving the wrong message to girls and then trying to resolve the situations. I took that as a message to me to consider this a friendship, and I had nothing invested romantically, so I wasn't too worried about it.
Anyway, he figured out pretty quick that I thought this, and then asked me to go with him to a dinner that he'd been invited to by Bro. T. That evening was slightly awkward, because I wasn't sure what the situation was, but I remember feeling very self conscious about it. A couple nights later we brought Ephraim back from town and Jake walked me back to my house. He wanted to talk outside, and I found myself looking everywhere but at him, and quickly decided that the best direction was up. So here we were, looking at stars, and Jake told me that he liked me in a more-than-friends way. I was glad that it was pretty dark, because my face was burning-- I'd never met a guy who was so upfront about it, usually it became an assumed thing, but he wanted me to be clear about it, since our messages had gotten crossed earlier.
He asked me how I felt and I muttered something vaguely non-committal, mostly because I was freaked out about having to address the situation without completely thinking it through, but I tried to indicate that I did like him. He said later that I hadn't been very clear, and it was a big let down since he had just put himself on the line like that.
A few days later was Valentine's Day, and I didn['t talk to him much before that, so I wasn't totally sure if I'd blown it or not. I felt kind of depressed at school, so I skipped my classes and went to the media lab to make valentines. I made him one, and then got some chocolate chocolate fudge haagen dazs and a pomelo. I took it up to his house and put it on the table. I was disappointed he wasn't there, but I left and on my way down I saw my housemate, who told me that there was a vase of flowers that Jake had brought by. I was pretty surprised, and then I ran into Jill, who wanted to ask me what was going on between us, and thought the whole situation was so cute, because Jake didn't really go out of his way for any girls. I was pretty reassured by that. I felt like I wanted to go back and get my valentine and write something more committal on it, but it was too late. I'm kind of a wimp like that.
I went to my house and saw the flowers. They were nun orchids, which I'd never seen before, and I think that they are the most beautiful flower ever. They're pretty seasonal, and later I learned that he had picked them in Kahana valley. He put them in a vase he had made himself, which certainly was extra points.
Someone called someone, and we ended up going to Kaneohe and renting a couple of movies (Sling Blade (his favorite movie at the time) and Waiting for Guffman (my favorite movie at the time)) and we watched both that night. I fell asleep during one of them, but we cuddled up together and had a very nice evening. We also had our first kiss that night, outside on my porch as we said goodbye, and when I went in, I couldn't believe how wonderful everything went. I'm not one who requires romantic, but he was certainly offering it in large doses.
Nearly every year since then Jake has gotten me orchids, often nun orchids, and always leaves them like a surprise.
